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This one is about: Visitors After Surgery?


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Okay, here is my latest question. Andrew is going into palate surgery tomorrow morning. Last night my sister and her husband stopped by to see Andrew. As they were leaving, they said "bye see you tomorrow." Well I hadn't really thought that they would come by to see him so soon after. For one thing he doesn't know them very well, especially my sister's husband. And I don't think that Andrew (almost 11 months) is going to appreciate the company. I figured my mother would come by, but he knows her better. How did you guys handle visitors?

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Tell them quite honestly that the hospital likes to limit visitors in pediatrics as much as possible. After all, most parents stay there, and many of the kids that are there need to nap, etc. Too many visitors - even for other children - can be very disruptive to a child. Offer that they come by your house when he comes home - tell them you may need their help. Allude to the fact that you may have dishes that need to be done up by that time. Ask her if she wouldn't mind staying home and baking a casserole instead so that you won't have to cook Andrew's first day home.

I think they only want to be supportive, so maybe you can just suggest more supportive things that they can do for you and Andrew.

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I also like the idea of helping at home after surgery - dinner is an outstanding idea. You could also tell them you will call them if it looks like he would enjoy seeing some visitors. Evan wanted to be held until he was off the pain meds and not so groggy. Then he started taking an interest in things around him again and interacting with other people.

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Is it possible that they want to come by for you rather than for Andrew? If you get on with them well, then let them come and be part of your team, allow them to be part of Andrew's surgery and recovery, allow them to help you -- it will be a special bond for them. But of course, only you know what their motivation is. People often just want to do what they can to help out, and feel good about doing it.

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From an Cleft-affected Adult:

It really depends on how I feel after surgery. I usually like the day to recover. But by the late afternoon of the day after surgery, I'm ready for company.

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Maybe your sister thinks you would like the company. Alisha really did not care who was there, besides Mommy, Daddy, Grandma & brother. But, my pastor came by & a few friends. I enjoyed seeing other folks. However, I did not want a ton of people! (just a few close friends, etc). It really is what you want. I can just remember the hospital stays as LONG hauls & the visitors helped me & did not seem to phase Alisha. Now, when I'm feeling really miserable, I don't like a lot of people around!! But, children don't fake feeling well & feel like they have to talk, etc.

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When Ryan was in the hospital, the nurses offered to take care of those issues for us and to "take the blame" if needed. They were really great and said that they'd rather be the 'bad guys' so that we didn't have to worry about hurting anyone's feelings.  Maybe yours will too?  Couldn't hurt to ask. Good luck and our prayers are with you!


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