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God Worked Overtime to Create Mothers
   by Erma Bombeck

When the Good Lord was creating Mothers...He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said, "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one."

The Lord replied, "Have you seen the specifications on this order?" She has to be completely washable, but not plastic. She has to have 180 movable parts...all replaceable, run off leftovers and black coffee due to no sleep, have a lap that disappears when she stands up, a kiss that can cure anything from a broken leg to a broken heart, and six pair of hands!"

The angel shook her head slowly and said, "Six pair of hands??? No way." "It's not the hands that are causing me problems, said the Lord. It's the three pair of eyes that mothers have to have."

"That's on the standard model?" asked the angel

The Lord nodded. "One pair to see through closed doors when she asks, "What are you kids doing in there?" Another pair here in the back of her head that sees what she shouldn't, but what she must. And of course, the pair here in front so that she can look at a child when he goofs and say, 'I understand and I love you', without so much as uttering a single word."

"Lord", said the angel touching his sleeve gently, "come you must can finish tomorrow......."

"I can't rest now", said the Lord. "I'm so close to creating something so close to myself. Already I have one who heals herself when she is sick...can feed a family on one pound of hamburger...and get a 9 year old to stand under a shower."

The angel circled the model of the Mother very slowly, "It's too soft." she sighed.

"But Tough!" said the Lord excitedly. "You can not imagine what this Mother can do or endure."

"Can it think?" asked the angel

"Not only think, but she can reason and compromise" said the Lord.

Finally the angel went over to the Mother and ran her finger across her cheek. "There's a leak!!!" cried the angel. I told you that you were trying to put too much into this model!

"It's not a leak, said the's a tear."

"What's it for?" asked the angel

"It's for joy, sadness, disappointment, pain, loneliness & pride" said the Lord solemnly.

"You're a genius!" shouted the angel.

The Creator looked somberly at the angel and said, "I didn't put it there."

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